“Woman, behold your son, and to the disciple, behold your mother.” Of all the things Jesus uttered on the cross, these words touch me deeply. I find this moment heartbreakingly poignant. As I ponder it, I place myself in the scene and encourage you to do the same. What do you see? I wonder what expression was on Jesus’ face as he gave his mother to John and gave John to his mother. Did he have tears running down his cheeks? Was his look one of warmth or of agony? Was his voice calm or riddled with emotion? Was their pain almost too much for him to bear? Let your imagination take you there. What was this moment like for Jesus?
What was this moment like for Mary? As a mother, I can’t begin to fathom what she was experiencing. What was going through her mind? Was she thinking about the moment the angel visited her and told her she would give birth to the Messiah? Was she remembering what she proclaimed to Elizabeth– that through this Spirit conceived child, God would scatter the proud, bring down the powerful from their thrones, lift up the lowly, fill the hungry with good things, send the rich away empty, and fulfill all the messianic promises? Was she remembering that all nations on earth would call her blessed? Was she feeling blessed in this moment? (From Luke 1:46-55).
Was she recalling the moment she and Joseph took their baby to the temple offering the required sacrifice as they presented and consecrated their son to the Lord? Was she wondering why he was being sacrificed now, right in front of her? Did she remember Simeon holding her baby and praying, ”My eyes have seen your salvation which you have prepared in the sight of all nations: a light for revelation to the Gentiles, and the glory of your people Israel.” Did she remember Simeon’s words to her? “This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too.” (Luke 2:30-32; 34-35). Could she have imagined the piercing of her soul as she witnessed the pierced body of her son?
Was Mary wishing Jesus would have left it all and come home when she and his brothers went to fetch him? Mark, in his gospel, tells us that Jesus’ healing a man on the sabbath had made the religious elite very angry, and they began plotting to kill him. As his following grew, so did the opposition. When Mary and his brothers showed up, the teachers of the law were accusing Jesus of being possessed. When he was told his mother and brothers were there, he asked who were his mother and brothers, then answered his own question by saying, it’s those who do the will of the Father (Mark chapter 3). Did Mary understand he couldn’t go home in that moment because he was doing the Father’s will? Was she questioning everything now?
What about John? He’s the only one of Jesus’ closest friends named at the cross. He left everything to follow Jesus. He was part of Jesus’ small inner circle. They were close, close friends. Was he afraid? Was he wondering what was next for him? Was he watching his dream die?
John described the physical scene at the cross like this: “Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, “Woman, here is your son,” and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” From that time on, this disciple took her into his home” (John 19:25-27).
Picture it. Mary, her sister, and two other Marys were standing near the cross. (How did she have the strength to stand?) John was standing nearby. How nearby? John doesn’t write “next to”; he writes “nearby”. I’ve seen artistic renderings of this scene in which John is right next to Mary with his arm around her, but that’s not what he describes. So, Jesus had to intentionally gaze at them individually. Was this the first moment Jesus realized they were there? It seems possible that it is, and when he saw them, he immediately gave them to one another. That moment is a big deal.
I don’t know why Mary and John needed these words from Jesus, but I do know a moment like this, and it was a big deal. I was eleven when cancer took my mother from us. The timeline is fuzzy in my mind, but at one point toward the end of her earthly journey, she called my sister, brother and me into the bedroom. She was sitting upright in a chair, and told us she’d had a dream. In the dream she had died, and our dad had remarried. She said, if that happens, I want you to love your new mother. None of us said anything. We could not allow our minds (or hearts) to comprehend what she said. But now, on this side of things, I can not begin to articulate what a gift that was. Losing her has affected every day of my life since, but when my dad remarried, there was no hesitation in loving my new mom. I had been given the freedom to love her without question or guilt. I can’t imagine what that moment was like for my mother. She had obviously thought through what she was going to say. She spoke gently but didn’t cry, and we didn’t either. I had no idea at that time what a huge and sacrificial gift she had given us, nor what a demonstration of selfless love that was.
Selfless love. That’s the point of this moment at the cross. Jesus is making sure John and Mary know they have one another. They can love each other like family. Selfless love. Selfless love is the point of every moment at the cross. Jesus continues what he’s already begun, demonstrating what it looks like to love selflessly for the sake of others; the “thems” and “theys”; the nameless criminal, and now, his devastated mother and his closest disciple. And all the while, Jesus is showing us what God looks like. “If you have seen me you have seen the Father” (John 14:9.)
Friends, we have nothing to fear. God is not mad. God looks like Jesus. God is love. We are loved, and we are to let others know they are loved. To be a follower of Christ means to be an imitator of Christ. The New American Standard Bible says it like this: “[B]e imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for you” (Eph. 5:1-2).
What does being an imitator of Christ look like in real life? What does it look like to walk in love? A few weeks ago I saw a cartoon drawing that I continue to think about. It depicts what Jesus’ type of love looks, thinks, and acts like. There were two panels in the drawing, both depicting a scene from The Good Samaritan. The first panel depicted the religious leaders intentionally avoiding the injured man. The caption said, “If I stop to help him, what will happen to me?” The second panel had the Samaritan (a despised “other” to the Jewish people of that day) moving toward the injured man with the caption saying, “If I don’t stop to help, what will happen to him?” What will happen to him? What will happen to them and they? What happens to the world if we are not authentic, Spirit-filled, imitators of Christ walking in love?
Pastor John ended his sermon with 1st Corinthians 13 from The Message translation. Take some time to ponder it; pause after each phrase. Don’t rush. Take it in.
If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing. If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
Love never dies.
(1st Corinthians 13: 1-8)
The Holy Spirit empowers us love this way. 2nd Peter 1:3 tells us that God, through the Spirit, has given us everything we need for life and godliness. God has given us the power to love like Christ, selflessly. When we do, when this becomes who we are, the world will change.